Have you sometimes considered your battles to be a blessing?
May seem like a weird idea at first?
But I had the thought today and I believe that thought came from GOD and the more I reflected on it, the more it made sense!
When I left work today, I was thinking about the battles I have been having at work for months now……
I have been victimized, attacked, overloaded with work, discriminated, taken advantage of, falsely accused, yes, bullied, made uncomfortable – and yet, I haven’t done anything wrong!
And it was not the first time this happened in a job, in fact, it has been happening for years and many times since I became born again, and this is where it gets interesting:
Would I not be living with GOD, talking to HIM, listening to HIM, obeying HIM, receiving HIS wisdom, explanations and instructions every single day, especially through times when I am under serious attack, I would believe there’s something seriously wrong with me!
But the more I walk with GOD, the more I understand that it’s my anointing, my calling and the SPIRIT in me that makes these things happen all the time.
And it’s not because something is wrong with me.
On the contrary.
It’s because people realize in my presence that there is something seriously wrong with THEM and this makes them attack me, hate me, try to destroy me, it makes them manifest!
It happens ALL the time!
And if it wasn’t for GOD, I would truly believe that it’s my fault.
That there IS something terribly wrong with ME.
That’s what “everyone” / society / my work colleagues want me to believe and they are desperately trying to discourage and demotivate me and to put me down and to make me give up and to make me change.
Take the most recent developments in my work place, for instance.
I have been under attack for MONTHS now, they have been trying everything in the book to destroy my image, my career even, it has been happening even more intensely ever since I have discovered that this is my calling, to help prisoners be delivered from their bondage – addictions, demonisation, evil spirits – as you may know, I have received a call from GOD to be a prison chaplain and I have been coming closer to this calling every day during the past 3.5 years…. currently “officially” in the role of a Drug and Alcohol Worker in prison, but truly working as an “undercover” missionary and deliverance minister, as GOD is moving mightily in all my cases and literally setting the captives free……. and the attacks from my unbelieving colleagues and managers have become more and more severe over the past months!
They have led to me handing in my notice a few weeks ago – without having a new job – yet.
However, I need to make this clear, please don’t try this at home without clear instructions from GOD – I have been praying and fasting on this matter for months and giving my notice wasn’t without GOD leading me to do so!
And it wasn’t just me wanting to do so either!
If it had been for me, I would have wanted to quit since the beginning of this year!
And those of you who read my articles on this blog regularly know that I even went for other jobs and that I endured many challenges, spent a lot of money for training – and failed – earlier this summer…………..
However, I have faith in GOD and I follow HIS instructions and this time, HE gave me the “go!” to hand in my notice, within a particular situation, after some specific “events” and I even typed the letter during my lunch break and handed it in after lunch, after I had gone out for some fresh air and had sought HIM in prayer………..
And now, HE is moving for me and it seems things are aligning for me.
And I am at PEACE.
Although a new job hasn’t come through yet, let alone the one I am hoping will come through, the chaplaincy role in “my prison”, the role I believe is for me.
As I said before, there is a chaplain leaving, but the role is not even advertised yet and time seems to be getting too short for me to make it into this role before the end of my notice period….. but I have faith and I believe GOD for this role!
And SO many people are praying for me.
And so much confirmation keeps coming in from expected and unexpected sources!
One of them, I must share with you:
it is one of my clients, a prisoner, yes, in fact one of the most challenging clients I have had so far, he has been SO difficult to work with, but working with him has also been extremely rewarding, because he has made great progress, taking so many things on board, he has been very appreciative of the support I have given him, and he is the one that became born again during the first few weeks I have been working with him….. he has been going back and forth a bit ever since, but when he is happy and at peace, he speaks of GOD and how he wants to find a church when he will get released….. anyway, this client is the only client I have told so far that I will be leaving my current position by the end of November.
And the main reason why I have told him is because I don’t want him to be taken by surprise by it, I don’t want him to believe that I am abandoning him (which is one of his major issues, fear of abandonment), and I also want to motivate him and encourage him to prepare for the time when I will no longer be in his life, I want him to get ready to open up and work with other professionals, because he has become a bit too attached to me – we have discussed this and I have tried to help him understand that it was GOD, not me, that helped him change……
So this client has given me a prophecy this week!
When I told him I will be leaving 2 weeks ago, I said that I am hoping to only leave the role, but stay in the prison in a different role, and I have been quite open with everyone (clients and employer and colleagues) that I am hoping to be a chaplain one day, so this client told me this week that he is not worried for me to leave the role because GOD had told him that I will always be here in this prison, that I will not be going anywhere.
I felt the words being from THE LORD when he said it to me!
And “this joy” was bubbling up inside of me, the joy of THE LORD.
Can you imagine?
One of my clients giving me a word?
A prophecy – from a prisoner!!!
That can only be GOD.
And I receive it and believe it.
And I felt so blessed in that moment.
THIS is one of the reasons why I began to see my battles as blessings.
Without GOD, I would never be able to see this!
Without GOD, I wouldn’t even work in the field – I would have never, ever thought that working with offenders could bring me so much joy!
Without GOD, I would probably still wallow in my own hurt, pain and what has been done to me, instead of focusing on other people’s needs and helping them climb out of their own pits….
Without GOD, I would have never, never, ever overcome my enemies and their attacks – the spiritual ones and the more worldly ones.
Without GOD, I would have never known what it means to be at peace….
The list is endless – that’s why I consider my battles a blessing – because without them and without GOD, I would have never become who I am today.
the colleagues from other departments whom I have told I handed in my notice so far.
They have asked me questions inquiring about the reasons, and these questions are so absolutely “spot on”!!!
– Is it the management?
– Who is bullying you?
– Has someone complained about you and you haven’t done anything wrong?
– Have your crazy colleagues done stuff to you?
– This one manager…”….” is she “quite a handfull” sometimes?
– Who is going to do the work when they loose you?
– Do they only want to keep those who don’t care and don’t do a good job with the clients?
Friends, I could have laughed and cried at the same time.
One dear colleague from another department was even unexpectedly giving me a sermon, encouraging me, telling me that we cannot stay in Egypt for too long and that we need to move on to the next one, closer to the promised land, to where GOD wants us to be, and she assured me that I will be a chaplain and she said she had spoken to one of the chaplains and had told him about me……… and that I will be the “funkiest” chaplain ever!
It has been heart-warming and so encouraging.
And as crazy as it sounds, I am not scared.
I know that GOD has me.
And to come back to the theme, even now that I have already resigned, they are still trying to attack me, to accuse me, to bring me down, and they are plotting something……….as if I was the “bad guy” – I gave up my employment without having a new job!
And instead of asking how they can help me find one, I know that they are looking for ways to hinder me from doing so and I am almost sure they will do something wicked in the coming days – but I am also sure that MY GOD won’t let them succeed.
Assuring encouragement and approval is coming from all sides within the prison!
GOD is connecting me to so many people, even in this time, during my notice period.
And HE keeps reminding me that HE opened this door for me and “no man can shut it”!
And this is what I meant to be writing about today.
If it hadn’t been for GOD in me and in my life, I would be devastated, destroyed, damaged, down, doubting myself and my entire life.
Yes, fighting so much is exhausting and not pleasant.
But when we are aligned with GOD’s will and when we are following HIS instructions, HE is fighting our battles for us and during this one, I have literally seen each and every strategy that they had been plotting to bring me into trouble, to create a case for some sort of disciplinary action against me, CRUMBLE in front of their very eyes and in front of mine as GOD was giving me the evidence, the coincidences and the right events plus the right strategies to turn everything around against them and in my favour – every, single time!
This led to a situation where I have so much against them that they must even fear that I will sue them!
And that’s exactly what they are afraid of now.
And GOD willing, there has just been a verdict in a case where an employee has received more than 150.000 pounds because his employer hasn’t done anything regarding a bullying and discrimination complaint of his, and I have been filing these exact same complaints for months now………..
GOD is in control.
And I am glad I have done everything HE said.
Had I not, I would probably have lost my job long ago and they would have put it in a way that it was my fault and they would have found a way to prevent me from working in this field, in the field of my calling.
I guess what I am trying to say is this:
When we are living for GOD, when we are fulfilling HIS calling, obeying HIS instructions, which I have, for a long time!!!, we WILL be under attack.
We will be ostracized, discriminated, accused, called all sorts of things, but we will also have an immense IMPACT when we are where we are supposed to be!
That’s what makes them so furious!
The successes and breakthroughs I have been and keep achieving with my clients – according to GOD’s will and by HIS power and grace!!! – are incomparable and unbelievable for my colleagues and managers!
NONE of my colleagues has this amount, kind and consistent breakthrough success in their cases!
They are all looking up to me, some are clever and ask me for guidance and the other half hates me and tries to find faults, but they never do!
Even when I did make mistakes, GOD always showed me in time and I was able to correct them before anyone noticed!
Now THAT IS GOD, HIS hand, HIS favour!
I think I am the only one who hasn’t had any catastrophes happening in one of their cases…. everyone else had!!! And that’s definitely not ME, as I have been as stressed as all my colleagues, as overwhelmed sometimes, but somehow, GOD is always alerting me when something is about to go wrong and I am able to catch it before it does – Praise THE LORD.
And the main realization / conclusion I had today is this:
My battles don’t come from something being wrong with ME, but with THEM.
Just like what happened to JESUS.
Not that I am worthy of comparing myself with HIM.
But I believe our battles are similar to HIS.
HE had never, ever done anything wrong to anyone.
And yet they wanted HIM dead and they killed HIM.
The spirit in them did.
And that’s the very same spirit that has been “bugging” me.
Today, I felt proud and honored by it.
Crazy in a way, isn’t it?
But also true.
I consider it an honor to be under the same sort of attack as MY LORD was.
It shows me that I am actually close to HIM, doing the right thing, obeying HIM.
The world hates me.
Just as HE has said they would.
For HIS sake.
I am sometimes jealous of Christians I see whom everyone loves and who seem to have it “all together” in their walk with THE LORD.
They seem to have lots of great, godly friends, a perfect godly marriage, great godly children, a wonderful career, prosperity, beauty, good health, success…………..
Life as a Christian (and before as well) has never been like that for me, I used to be envious, I used to ask GOD to help me become one of the Christians everyone loves, but I understand now that it’s not my calling to be loved by everyone, but to set people free with my deliverance anointing! I do have a beautiful voice and I can sing, but GOD hasn’t called me to be in the choir and to be admired and loved by everyone and to wear pretty dresses every Sunday.
That’s not my calling!
HE has decided for me to work in and against the darkness, in prison, with people on the edge of society, showing GOD’s love to them, praying for them, listening to them, casting out their demons, praying for deliverance and coming against all the agents of the enemy who want these people to keep suffering.
This calling comes with the hate of those who want to stay in bondage or want to keep holding others captive.
It took me a while to realize this and I was struggling with carrying this cross, but I have learned to embrace it and nowadays, I feel privileged and love by GOD – and I accept this calling and I no longer want to swap with them!
Being happy and blessed in every area of my life is no longer my main focus.
Yes, it would be nice – I am not going to lie.
Like everyone, I do enjoy blessings.
Do I want to be serving GOD AND enjoy the good life?
But what is more important?
It’s NOT the good life!
It’s serving GOD, because without HIM, NOTHING is good!
I am with GOD and GOD is with me.
I am amazed at what HE is doing and how HE is getting me out of every single attack.
It is priceless and amazing and incomparable and unbelievable when we are in alignment with GOD’s will for us.
It is the calm in the middle of the hurricane, everything is raging around us, but we are not moved, not phased, do not even wince.
Which obviously makes our enemies even more furious.
But they are not raging because something is wrong with us.
It’s because of what’s wrong with THEM.
Another example from this current battle at my work place:
It started with the very first round of complaints in the beginning of this year, when my previous manager had left and I was led to raise serious complaints towards and against my service manager, who is gay.
And he is so highly incompetent and narcissistic and unable to deal with any criticism, so he tried to gaslight me and tried to claim I had said these things because he is gay – and he has even passed this concern on to his manager and I was about to face a serious disciplinary action, if not dismissal because of his false accusations, because I had not accused him because he is gay, but because he is a very poor manager!
I hadn’t mentioned anything which could even hint in this direction, but I KNOW this is his “default”strategy how he usually deals with criticism and I am assuming he normally gets away with it.
Not in my case though.
I said to him why would I work excellently with a gay woman as my manager and then discriminate a gay man and not accept him because of his sexual orientation???
I had worked wonderfully and happily (both sides) and had received LOADS of praise from my previous manager, who was female and gay as well – she was not gay openly and he had assumed that I hadn’t known, but GOD had shown it to me and she had also mentioned her partner and referred to her partner as “she” a few times, so I knew it was true – I hadn’t payed much attention to it at the time, but when he tried to accuse me, I knew this is the evidence for me to prove him wrong now – and it worked!!!
He had since not been able to ever accuse me again of discriminating him because of this, on the contrary, I was able to make an argument and prove that I had been the one who had been discriminated because of my Christian beliefs!
And this resulted of him having to listen to another complaint and another one and another one, I kept them coming over months, and there was no way he was able to stop me, and he made one mistake after the other, they are literally piling up!
GOD at work!!!
It has been like this all along – every time they were trying to raise something, trying to stop me from complaining, from showing them how poor they are as managers, I was able to shut them down – literally “to condemn every tongue rising up in judgement against me”.
And I didn’t even want to complain in the first place.
All I wanted was to leave.
But I followed GOD’s instructions and HE told me to raise it all – one complaint at a time.
I have been writing emails and emails….. and there was nothing they could do – however, they also did nothing to remove any of the things I complained about.
And other people are complaining about the very things I have been raising….. and complaints from other departments are coming in about the people I am complaining about……
Glory to GOD.
And I can sometimes see the hatred and the emptiness in them when they look at me…..
It is well.
I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way.
The battles I have to face are due to whom I live for and live with.
HE is worth it all.
And no matter what I had to face so far, HE has kept me safe.
Not always as comfortable as I would have wanted to be, but safe.
And I have learnt so much.
Without GOD and without all these battles, my battles, I wouldn’t know anything!
GOD has blessed me with truth, knowledge, discernment and deliverance.
I owe all I am and all I have to HIM.
HE will do the same for you, my dear friend.
If you don’t know THE LORD, please refer to the homepage of this blog and give your life to HIM.
I hope this will inspire, encourage and bless you. And that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you PEACE. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.