Let’s talk about sex!

Dear friends,

sex is something we should all talk about.
Especially IN the church and among the people of GOD.


Because it’s the enemy’s best weapon.

Do you have any idea how many ministries are destroyed because of sexual immoralities?

Pastors having affairs, or if they don’t have affairs, they lust after someone they are not married to, perhaps the choir leader who looked so fine when they sang that hymn this morning, or that young girl that came for counseling… or they are addicted to pornography and masturbating and can’t tell anyone about it, but then, they get caught red handed by an elder… and I am not only talking about the men in the churches – who do you think all those ladies dress up for on Sundays and many of them inappropriately? JESUS? Not the JESUS I know and pray to…. perhaps Jesus from Barcelona, Spain, who just started coming to this church a few weeks ago, lost and broken and now, all the ladies start circling him after the service……… because they want to “pray for him and disciple him”? NO friends, they are LUSTING after him, lusting after their pastors, want their pastors or elders or male choir leaders to notice them, to notice how beautiful they are, how young they still look…. and onandonandonandon……..

Friends, lust is literally everywhere.

INCLUDING in the churches.

INCLUDING in the body of CHRIST.

INCLUDING in me, dear friends.

Lust is my greatest stumbling block!

How about you?

And that’s why I decided to speak up, to come out.

Because the more we try to hide our lusts and keep our sexual immorality a secret, the stronger the devil’s strongholds are going to grow in our lives.

WHO are we fooling?

Nobody can hide anything from GOD.

You know that and I know that.

All we can do is hide it from each other – or at least we might be able to hide it from the ones who are not involved in our own sexual sin.

But then, when it is hidden in the dark, it can grow and prosper and flourish, grow firm roots and multiply, occupy more space in our soul – undisturbed, behind closed doors, not even prayed against by nobody.

Let’s come against the spirit of lust together, friends, shall we?

Do we want to?

Of course not!!!

Nobody wants to overcome lust or get rid of it.

Because it feels sooooooooooooo goooooooooood.

An orgasm is one of the best, if not THE best feeling we can possibly have in our bodies.

Isn’t it?

And that is rightly so and intended by GOD, because HE wants us to have pleasure – in the marriage bed, making babies.

But HE also warns us about sexual immorality, fornication, adultery, whoredom, sodomy – you name it, it is in the bible and GOD is not happy about it.

And let me confess, I am guilty of MOST of them.
Before I got saved and unfortunately also afterwards.
I will not preach here, I am on the same side you are on.
I am in the camp of the ones who don’t want to talk about what they have done and most of all not when they’ve done it, when the last time was and how often…

SHAME on us, dear friends.


Even if we repented of all of our filth.

There are consequences, especially when we don’t confess it to one another.

Let me start, ok?

I have watched porn, I have masturbated, I have had many, many men when I was younger and I was also an adulteress.

What we also need to do though is have a look at what it does… and WHY GOD doesn’t want us to expose ourselves to sexual immorality.

I believe it’s not only because it allows the devil to accuse us and because it defiles us, not to mention that we can catch a disease or an addiction – or a divorce!! – from most sexual sins…

No, what it also does it completely distorts and destroys our values, images of relationships, marriage, loyalty, living together through hardships, loving one another including taking care of the other’s needs…

Let me give you an example.
A man who is watching porn a lot will not know how to love a woman right.
He will have an image in his head of women who are always ready for sex, who will do whatever he asks them to do in the bedroom and who will even enjoy it if they are forced into sexual acts.
Can you see the problem here when this same man is facing a difficult time in his relationship?
Perhaps his woman is stressed from her job or she might be ill or they may have tensions in their relationship, which is completely normal by the way, but pornographic movies don’t teach about solving conflicts, now, do they?
So let’s say she is not in the mood.
Not tonight and perhaps not for a week or maybe even for a month or longer.

What do you think will happen when a man who is used to watching pornography is faced with a situation like this in his relationship?

Will he even THINK about the underlying issues and how to solve the problems between them?

Or is all he will be focused on the fact that this woman is not performing, not delivering and that he should get somewhere else what he needs and must have?

Why do we think brothels and prostitutes even exist?

If the problem was approached spiritually, as within a sacred union between man and wife, a marriage, the sex wouldn’t even be the main issue!!!
It would be completely clear what is going on and what needs to be done. The pastor would be involved or an elder and the issue would be ADDRESSED and solved – by communication and prayer.
It would be so normal for them to go to their leaders for counsel and it would also be absolutely clear without any shadow of a doubt that the needs of both must be met as they are joined together by GOD and cannot go outside their marriage for the fulfillment of any of their needs, regardless of what these needs are.

Can you see the difference?

A spiritual perspective considers all sides of the relationship and the involved individuals, whereas the devil tries to separate certain desires from the entire “package” and from the commitment they have both made in front of GOD.

I know it sounds dramatic, but pornography is instigating divorce!

NO woman is truly turned on all the time 24/7 and may I say neither is any man.
Although there might be differences in the frequency, in the velocity and in the triggers or ways how a man and a woman can come into or be in “the mood”, it does for both also depend on other circumstances, at least in the long run, when 2 people are living together.

When you are visiting a brothel (or a night club, regardless of where you find the sex and regardless of if you pay for it or not), that’s what you go there for and it is all a matter of 10 minutes, but that’s not all… neither in a relationship, nor for people who seek fast relief – men or women!

Because everything outside the kingdom of GOD comes with consequences, with a price!

GOD’s creation is a holistic masterpiece, which cannot be improved.

Only worsened.

And copied.

Sex is the cheap copy of love.
Of the satisfaction which comes from true love and deep intimacy.
True intimacy requires a spiritual connection, not a mere physical one.
Yes we can all have orgasms without love, but we cannot be satisfied, nurtured and fulfilled if a union is not based on GOD’s principles, INCLUDING, but not exclusively focusing on the physical union.

Everybody knows that there is a big difference between having sex and making love.
Most of us know that making love can become more satisfying the more we know our partner, that there is more to it than just the physical act, that it is a form of communication, of bonding, of growing together and becoming more inseparable.

The bible says that when two are joined together, they become one flesh.

What does that mean?

It means that the physical act forms so-called soul ties.

Which is supposed to happen and intended by GOD – for husband and wife.

But then, imagine a prostitute – or take a less drastic example, someone who is “just” sleeping around.

Who do they become one flesh with?

And what does that truly mean?

What it means spiritually is that we become connected with the other person’s soul – both in a good and in a bad way.
To their blessings and to their curses, if it is THE ONE TRUE LIVING GOD living in them, our connection with GOD is being strengthened – IF this union takes place within GOD’s will that is.

And if not?

If not, we become one with their demons, their spiritual and sexual disease,s and the more people they’ve slept with, the more demons they have and the more demons will enter us when we sleep with them.

Friends, I can tell you, I WAS sleeping around when I was younger and when I had no idea how harmful that is.

And I can also tell you, I got DEFILED by that, DEMONIZED, CURSED.

I am even lucky I didn’t catch a STD.

However, GOD has cleansed me for many years and yet, for every dirt and filth HE has taken out of me, I had to fast, I had to pray, I had to learn something new!

HE didn’t give it to me just like that.

I had to work HARD.

For whom THE LORD loveth, HE chasteneth.

MY FATHER chastened me.

To make sure that I LEARN how dangerous and destructive sexual sin IS.

And yet, I am still not immune to it…

I have lustful thoughts sometimes, friends – and I can hardly imagine that there is any human being on earth, man or woman, young or old, who has not.

Perhaps that’s me – the lustful me who just thinks everyone is like that!!??

Or perhaps it is just SO common and I could be right?

So what could we do?

We could talk about it.
To disarm and demystify lust.
And take the fascination of the forbidden away.

If we all came out and said “I am a lustful sinner, I lust after people, I desire to have sex with people I see sometimes, I sometimes even desire someone else’s husband / wife” – at least we would take the secrecy out of it.

And the thrill of forbidden-ness and of the danger of getting caught.

What if we admitted that it’s normal to fall – that we in fact ALL do?

Just like we ALL lie all the time.

Or steal.

Or gossip.

Or cuss.

We try, yes, and we repent when we have fallen and ask GOD for forgiveness, but….. does that make the sin un-sinned?
No, it just makes it pardoned.

And we can support one another.

With accountability.

I saw something online about a very big church, forgot which one it was.
One of the pastors reported that they had installed accountability software on all their computers after sexual immorality had been able to cause a few scandals in their church.
This software records every website and there is no way around it, and they meet regularly exchanging these reports and this pastor who was talking about it was saying it’s as if your pastor was standing next to you all the time when you are on the internet.

Perhaps we need to find one person first whom we are accountable to – especially for our sins – and they for theirs…

What I think is NOT helpful is to talk behind people’s back, to shun some kind of behavior or clothing – at least not without offering support – or to be confrontational, except if you have the gift of diplomacy.
Me, I don’t have this gift.
Even if I am only half as direct as I would like to be, people always get offended.

LORD help us overcome the spirit of lust!

What do you think, my friend?

Are you, too, a lustful sinner?

Or do you have any ideas how to come against sexual immorality?

Or what we can do to withstand temptation?

Overcome urges?

Did you come across any good sources for this topic that you can share with us, my friend?

I am interested to hear from you.

I hope and pray that this will inspire, bless, heal and encourage you. And that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. IN JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.

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