Your will

Dear friends,

when we are sad, don’t you agree with me that it is always because of the difference between how things are and how we want them to be?

For instance, when a relationship ends… we suffer if we would have loved this person to stay, suffer as long as it takes until we can let them go…

Or that job we wanted so bad, and then the call comes that we have not been chosen…

When we receive bad news of any kind, we cry (or for those who don’t literally shed tears, they are still sad).

Often times in my life, I was glad looking back, glad about something not going the way I had wanted it to go… to stay with the examples above, I was often times glad when I didn’t get a job I had tried for, because looking back a few years later, I realized that this failure had taken me to a new place, a new career, a new stage in life, had brought me together with new people and had taught me new things in a different job, one I had not applied for otherwise…

What I am trying to get at is this:

GOD’s will for our lives is often times only revealed looking back, in the situation, it seems as if HE had not heard us, seems as if HE might even have abandoned us or had removed HIS favour, HIS protection from us…. but after some time, we often see, or shall I say this happens not just often, but every time, that we see later that GOD’s favour had actually been on us, that HE had our best interest and path and future in mind when HE put us through what HE put us through.

In this current time, this may be hard to believe for all of us…

But if we believe and if we believe in HIS promises and in HIS word, we must believe that this is HIS will for us, for our lives.

Me, I believe that this crisis, this global pandemic, this lockdown IS GOD’s will for our lives, for all of us – it is my firm conviction that nothing, absolutely not one thing in my life can happen that GOD has not allowed or even intended – and if it is a bad thing (or a thing that I perceive as bad), then I believe it is because I need to learn something and because HE wants me to overcome it or leave it behind or teach me something new.

I think that many children of GOD will come out of this crisis better than before.

I believe many of us will be tried in the fire and come out as gold…

But for me personally, I have had so many struggles with what GOD has given me and with what I had rather wanted from HIM or with what I had wanted for my life.

I don’t want to struggle so much anymore, don’t want to be sad and cry over the things I wanted for me and which GOD obviously had not planned for me… at the same time, I want to be a warrior in GOD’s armour and do not want the devil to steal what GOD has put in my hands already, want to “fight the good fight of faith” and receive GOD’s promises and blessings.

The key is to know the difference… at least that’s my take…

So what I will pray for is exactly what OUR SAVIOR prayed for in the Garden of Gethsemane… when HE knew that they were about to come and get HIM… and when HE knew that HE had to fulfill HIS destiny and the prophecies and at the same time, when HE was human and wanted to stay in this life, wanted to continue to be with the ones HE loved, wanted to teach them and guide them and be with them… when HE was crying… suffering… praying hard…
Not that I compare my mission or my strength with HIS, that is absolutely not what I am trying to do or to say here, it is more that I want to make the point that not even JESUS was fighting against THE FATHER’s will for HIM, even though HE may not have liked it in this moment, but who am I to do it then, who am I to pray for my own will?

In fact, I even want GOD to take all my desires away, all the desires that are not coming from HIM and that are not aligned with what HE has planned for me, so that I will not even want anything HE doesn’t want for me…

I want to surrender all to HIM and do not want to suffer so much anymore.

And I want to really, really mean it, when I pray the same prayer JESUS prayed in this garden…

Even in a situation like this when I do want to go outside, move around freely and want this to be over – like anyone else – and believe me, there are sooooooo many things that I want in my life and I don’t think GOD wants them for me, so I currently suffer, but I want to end this suffering today and I am asking GOD to help me, I want to surrender it all to HIM, and perhaps you would like to join me, my friend, by saying this simple and yet so powerful prayer:

“FATHER, not my will, but THY will be done.”

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