are you married?
And if you are, is your marriage “made in heaven”?
When I say that, I don’t mean it like the world means it, I actually mean if you and your spouse have been brought together by GOD – or not?
Of course, those of you who are happily married will most definitely believe so, the ones who are having challenges in their marriage at the moment may doubt this – or they may not doubt it even though they are experiencing a storm…?
For those of us who are not married, or who’s marriage broke (like mine) and who may consider a “second go” (maybe like me?) or who believe that GOD is setting them up for mating, aren’t we all asking ourselves:
HOW can we know that this is the right one?
Or even the one GOD has meant for us?
Well, let’s start with the latter one – and of course, I do not claim to have any wisdom, at least none of my own, what I am sharing here is what I believe THE HOLY SPIRIT is showing me and has shown me in my most recent, very, very current experiences…
First things first:
I believe it is good to start with praying for a godly husband or wife and commanding our love life completely in GOD’s hands.
This is what I have not done when I got married the first time.
GOD didn’t even play a major role in my life at that time – at least not the GOD I know now! I did think that I was a “good person” and I believed in “something higher”, something which I nowadays recognize as the enemy disguised as a counterfeit “god”…
Not so nowadays.
As you all know, I went through major “issues”…
Secondly, I don’t know what to believe, if GOD has ordained this one person especially for us and us for them – or if HE has given us free will and is hoping that we would go for a partner with godly qualities and that we would first and foremost seek HIM in our “better half”?
In my opinion, we could find scriptural support for both concepts.
Even for the idea that it is best not to marry and stay single and serve GOD alone…
And to be completely honest with you, I thought that I would never heal from what I had gone through, at least not enough to even consider ever trusting a man again in my life, let alone getting married again?
I must admit though that I have been longing for a new spouse…
And I kept asking GOD to either bring it to pass or to take this desire from me.
I was fasting, praying and seeking GOD a lot over this!
This year, MY FATHER, OUR GOD, has given me so much.
So many revelations.
HE has opened doors for me, has brought me into what I believe is my calling…
And most recently, HE has brought two men into my life – and with these also lots of questions, findings and revelations which I never had before.
Actually, the second one only revealed himself very recently.
This was my exact prayer for a long time:
that my future husband would reveal himself and come forth and expose his intentions.
The first one who “came” was looking like the perfect husband I had been waiting for for all this time.
His (outside) image, acting and talking like a man of GOD, a Pastor to be, seeming to be a prophet (even though I had doubts about this from a very early stage…)
All the people where I met him seemed to believe that he is a true man of GOD.
Only that he didn’t behave like one.
And he didn’t behave like a future husband either.
More like a little boy throwing one tantrum after the other, presenting his ego like a peacock…Having issues with his ex, who actually has a restraining order in place against him and keeps him from seeing his children, which is not a sign for a very grown up way to handle conflicts, on neither side… a man of GOD should be able to solve a conflict like this, don’t you think?
Turns out he has anger issues, pride issues and is unable to apologize.
And this turns out within the first 24 hours after I gave him my number – even almost within the first 2.4 hours…
Not a good set of “qualities” for a future husband?
Unforgiveness is a spirit and the exact spirit which destroyed his relationship with his baby mother.
And the thing which disturbed me the most is that a true man of GOD would not be manifesting, but asking for deliverance prayers – not necessarily mine, but a true man of GOD would be aware enough of evil spirits to recognize when he was influenced by them – and he wouldn’t attack, but reflect… and would not accuse, but pray!
Then the other, and at this point, I do not even know if he is a believer.
Believe me, nothing is more important to me than getting married to a Christian, to someone who knows JESUS.
BUT the way he has been behaving and conducting himself has far more godly qualities than the so called “man of god” has shown so far.
This one hasn’t been playing games, not at all, at no time and to no degree.
In fact, he has shown his affection openly and generously from the very beginning.
He has been kind, funny, and from his openness and directness, I felt so uninhibited in his presence, I even thought he must be a married man and that is the only reason why I was joking around with him all the time – I thought it was a joke… it was because he was so unpretentious and uncomplicated that I thought he must be a married man, he is comfortable and confident around women like he knows them, like he likes them, like a friend, like a husband and probably even a father…
I thought we only were joking around and he has 5 children at home, I didn’t think much of it and I ticked him off as a “family man” – even though I did notice that he is extremely attractive and seeking my presence, too – in a good way though…
I thought it was a friendlyness, some sort of “work fun” without any consequences and I played along – I must admit I was thoroughly enjoying it – but in an innocent way, because it would never cross my mind to threaten or destroy a marriage!
And since he seemed to be someone else’s husband, I didn’t take any of his jokes for more than just fun…
Until one day, he asked me what I was doing on the weekend.
Without even knowing my name.
My jaw literally dropped and I was totally flabbergasted, I even asked him if he was asking me out.
I had no idea what to do…or what to say…
I think this is one of the moments when your life takes a different turn.
At least could it be.
The least I can say is that I didn’t see this coming – not at all. I would have never been so open with him had I believed that he is single?
I don’t even know at this point if he is married indeed and just making me an “immoral offer”?
In fact, I don’t even think this is real now that I am writing it – it is now more than a day ago and yesterday, I was grinning all day, but today, it even seems unreal.
I was actually thinking about the behaviour of the other one all the time on the day when it happened – and I even knew that that’s not a good sign…not a good sign at all… when you have to ask yourself why this person is behaving like a …. – is this what you would ask yourself about a man of GOD???
Did anyone wonder why JESUS behaved so badly?
Maybe because he did NOT?
Well, what can I say?
I am old enough to appreciate being treated well and like a queen – not like something else, something you wouldn’t respect or cherish.
It is like other decisions as well when you have GOD – compared to when you didn’t have HIM (sorry, this is only for those who have ever been not saved!) – it is easy.
When you have peace.
When all the drama disappears.
When it all makes sense.
When it is as if a veil is lifted.
When you exhale and realize that everything else has been wrong and exhausting before.
When you feel pure joy.
This one doesn’t even care if everyone sees his affection or hears that he is asking me out… actually, it did happen before with him that a colleague was teasing him about me when he was talking to me, I thought it was because he is married…?
But why did I think that?
I think it was because he has this reliability about him.
Not in a boring way.
I feel safe.
I feel listened to.
Even when I thought it was only for joking did I enjoy his presence, even then did I literally rejoice in meeting him… so uplifting, refreshing…
Whereas the other one often times left me feel heavy and worried – about him, about if his experiences / visions or revelations are really from GOD… about what he said – and then finally, about what he did.
At least was I wondering about his motives and his words a lot from the very beginning.
Will Mr. Right behave like Mr. Right?
Well, let me ask you this:
did JESUS behave like GOD when HE was here on earth?
Does HE in your life nowadays?
And if you agree with me and your response to that question is a full-hearted “YES!”, let me ask you further:
From what has been recorded about his life here on earth, did HE behave godly sometimes, often or always?
I do know that no human being can live up to the standards GOD has or GOD showed when HE was here on earth.
Neither do I claim to be able to do that myself – and I don’t expect another person, not a man and not a woman, to behave godly all the time.
But at the same time, a person who displays qualities and behaviours which are very wordly, random, even ungodly A LOT of the time – they do not behave like MY future husband, do not even behave like MY friend or someone I want to be around.
And there is absolutely NO exception to this.
Why would I want to be with someone (as my future husband or in any other capacity) who is even behaving less godly than an unbeliever?
Why would I take all this time and make all this effort to consecrate myself, to try all I can to live a holy life and eliminate everything from it which is not from GOD and to seek HIM – only to be defiled and upset and polluted by someone else’s agressions, lusts, addictions or demons?
Why would I have fasted and prayed and studied for years to get delivered only to be in someone else’s un-delivered (and this is a nice term to describe it!) presence?
Like I said, nobody is perfect.
But shouldn’t we all strive to be?
Or at least to be MORE like JESUS?
Isn’t that what we are all called to do and to try as best as we can?
Someone who is claiming to be perfect and infallible and impeccable is by all means and in all possible perspectives nothing but delusional and a diviner!
None of us is perfect, even the bible says that we all fall short of GOD’s glory!
But whom shall I chose?
Someone who is obviously a little boy without any maturity, not even in a worldly sense, or someone who is behaving like a man – even though he may not even be a believer?
At this point, I don’t know anything about the one that showed his interest more recently, I don’t even know if his motives are sincere or more lustful.
But GOD has shown me something through this coinciding of encounters, their sequences and effects:
I may not know enough about the second one, but I know enough about the first one and about me, enough to know that he may look, talk and act like a man of GOD and he may even be one (even though I don’t believe so), but he is not MY future husband.
And what this also showed me is this:
GOD is good.
And lack or scarceness or limitedness is not his realm, not where he operates.
Even if none of them is Mr. Right.
There is absolutely no need to fear that there IS no future husband for me – if it is GOD’s will for me to get married again – because with GOD, ALL things are possible!
I am Mrs. Right – at least for JESUS, for MY GOD.
I am a child of THE MOST HIGH.
And I trust HIM.
My life is completely in HIS hands.
Including my love life.
What would I be without HIM and why would I want anything HE wouldn’t want for me?
Would it make sense for me to be with someone who is obviously so severely demonized after so many years of working on my own deliverance?
And please don’t believe I didn’t address this and please don’t believe I am not praying for this man – regardless of not wanting to be his future wife (even though he introduced me as exactly this to someone – seemingly joking, but I knew that he meant it!) I do want deliverance for him, for everyone of whom I know that they are demonized!
It may make sense if I was able to help this person to become free… only that in this case, this person does not even want to hear my opinion, not even when I tried to point them towards the obvious fruit of unforgiveness and strife in his life, the very fact that his ex has a restraining order in place against him and that he is currently fighting to be allowed to see his children with her in court…?
Or would it make sense for someone who may not be a believer yet to meet me and I will help him find JESUS?
Well, regardless if he will be my future husband or not, I will use the opportunity we will most likely have to meet to introduce him to my faith – and who knows, perhaps this encounter IS made in heaven and he already is a believer and wants to find a godly wife?
Only GOD knows everything and only HE has all the reasons why HE brought these 2 men into my life.
Me, I am grateful.
And full of hope and faith and trust – for JESUS – HE is who I love and trust for now… and if it is HIS will, I will also trust and love a man again – in a godly way.
Dear friends, I am so interested in your opinions, experiences, takes and comments on this matter – please do share if you can.
I hope and pray that this would inspire, bless and heal you.
And that THE LORD will bless you richly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.
4 thoughts on “Mr. Right from (Mr.) Wrong”
Sorry, God=for. Spell check failed!
Sad that men are like that. But, if Jesus isn’t the zenith of our life, then the flesh will rule, and self will take the throne and use others God our own gain.
His love upon you, Ron
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Wow. I’ve been in almost these exact situations.
A religious person and an atheist were mine to be exact. The first was the perfect test for me to test my faith and grow in the Word because I had to find out the truth. The second was just someone I got along perfectly with. He was more “mature” than the other and we got along so well. I knew the whole time he was an atheist and I spoke to him over time just as a friend. I even met him for coffee one day (after months of prayer over it!!) because I needed to tell him exactly what was going on emotionally with me and I needed to move on for myself. It was so hard because I see him every day, but had gotten so used to talking to him I had to make myself ignore him to be able to cut it out of my mind. I had to figure out why I was attracted to him and pray to be delivered from whatever it was. Neither of them were mine and if I’m meant to be single so be it or maybe there’s someone down the line… I want Jesus and the life HE has for me. I don’t want what I want, but what he wants for me. Yes, it was hard to be content with that, but I’m thankful to finally be.
By the time I ended this article it seems you already have your answer. As a Christian it is imperative to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers for what fellowship does righteousness have with unrighteousness? One could be a sheep who is struggling, but you know he is not yours. The other no matter how “good” he is does not have your God… or so you say.
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Thank you so much for sharing, my sister, it means a lot!
If we were sisters offline as well, we could now join hands in prayer.
Online or offline doesn’t make much difference in the spirit realm and I will pray for you!
Even though this matter doesn’t even need prayer, because we both know that OUR FATHER has us and that HE will either let us cross paths with a godly man or will help us be content without a human husband.
What this sequence, too, shows is that living without a husband can be a blessing as well 🙂
Again, thank you so much for commenting and confirming that this is all from GOD regardless of the outcome.
GOD bless you, my sister!