Hey! Jealous Lover

Dear friends,

have you ever had the impression that GOD could be jealous?

Me, I did and I in fact do at this current time in my life.

I mean the thought is not as obviously stupid or far fetched as one may think, for HE has said it HIMSELF:

 

Exodus 34:14
14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Deuteronomy 32: 16; 4:24
16 They provoked him to jealousy with strange gods, with abominations provoked they him to anger.
24 For the Lord thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.
2 Corinthians 11:2
For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

I didn’t take this quite so seriously, at least not in a literal sense.

I did notice that GOD wants me to devote my entire life to HIM, wants me to make HIM the absolute first priority in my life and wants me to spend a lot, if not all of my time with HIM.

In that area, HE doesn’t behave much differently than my offender, who is clearly not godly, but ruled by demons.

I find them quite similar to be honest, because each will show me their fury when I don’t give them my full attention and even more when I attend more to the other.
GOD has chastened and punished me for the time I devoted to the enemy. Even after I got saved… and I am sure HE wants to make sure that I never, ever do that again.

When some of my projects, which I thought I had started FOR GOD failed (for instance did I believe HE had called me to be a missionary and I applied twice for a post of a city missionary and it didn’t work out for the weirdest reasons), I was so disappointed.
I did some serious soul searching and praying and what I came up with as being the only possible reason was that I had put too much affection on this post.

But had I made it my god, my idol?

In my understanding, I had not.

Because I wanted this job (and the next one by the way, where almost the same thing happened and I got it, but got fired for no real reason after a few weeks) in order to serve HIM, so that HIS name would be glorified.

Yes, I did also like the image which comes with being a social worker and I had been praying to be able to become one for many years.

And I still believe it is the right thing to do and what GOD wants us to do for a living!

Doesn’t he say we are supposed to feed the hungry and set the captives free and take care of the needy?

Is it wrong to do it to make a living?

I mean, this is not how you create wealth and everybody knows that these jobs are hard and not payed very well…

Is this not a godly thing to work as?

And a pastor for instance, is a pastor not supposed to love his / her job and to be happy to glorify GOD every minute of their life, including and even mainly during their working hours? Are they not supposed to be grateful and proud that GOD has chosen them to take care of HIS flock and to work for HIM so obviously that everyone can see that HE trusted them to be a shepherd for HIM?

Is it really so wrong to be devoted to helping others as a profession?

I am aware that everyone can serve GOD in any profession there is in the world.

And at the same time, I am striving to have one that is specifically suitable and visibly so – for HIS purposes.

Ok, I admit when I applied for this missionary job more than a year ago, I may have become a little too obsessed with the idea –  I am still not thinking that this was wrong or that I forgot to love HIM while I was focusing on becoming HIS instrument in the city missionary field – but I get it, I understand that HE may have become jealous, even though I still don’t like it and think – to be honest – that HE was over-reacting.

And yet, I repented and I improved and tried to please HIM more and reassure HIM that this was not more important to me than HE is.

Not only did I increase my level of obedience in all areas and even in the daily life on the job.
Plus, I even let HIM test me without any murmuring and accepted that this first attempt failed and the second one also after great hardships to get there and then only a few weeks and it was already over.
I handled this failure very well, at least in my opinion, I did not blame or accuse or become angry or desperate or too frustrated (a little though, but I think that’s only human) and what is the most important thing:
I never, ever doubted HIM, never ever doubted HIS love for me and never, ever thought that HE had abandoned me and not loving HIM anymore didn’t even cross my mind!

I was faithful.

I was merry, even though it took me months to find something new –  in both cases.

I never left the routines with HIM, when I spend time with HIM every morning, not even when I had to leave the house at 6am, I got up even earlier to have time to pray and to read the bible… I am not saying this to boast, HE knows my heart and HE knows that it is true anyway, I could lie to you or to myself, but not to HIM.

I don’t feel guilty of not loving HIM enough.

I don’t feel I have made this job a priority over HIM.

The way I feel about this job is that it is the means which suits my skills, talents and experience, the method I personally can use to honor and glorify HIM.

That’s why I don’t feel guilty of what may have made HIM jealous, because HE IS my number one, my one and only and of course, I could do a different job and I know that I can glorify HIM in any job, but this is still the job I would like to do, because it matches my skills better than many other jobs and it will make it easier for me to serve when I enjoy it and when I can do it well.

There is another aspect.

As you may have read, I spent quite some effort and time to learn how to hear GOD’s voice and I believe I can.
When I was applying for prison jobs after I had been asked to leave in the first one, I was praying and I was sincerely seeking HIS face and asking HIM if this is what HE wants me to do and I emphasized that I want HIS will to be done and I submitted my career to HIM and asked HIM to use me as HIS instrument.
I believe I heard HIM say something I had never heard or read before, even though it is probably a very popular scripture, I heard that HE said that HE had opened a door for me, which no man could shut –  I believed HIM.

Revelation 3:8
I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

Even though I had been fired and even though I thought it was very unlikely that someone else in the same sector would hire me, I believed HIM and sent out applications almost exclusively for similar jobs in prisons –  I didn’t even know at that time that my old manager had had the cruelty to terminate my prison clearance in order to destroy my career in the field… but I believed HIM. And even after I had been offered a new job with my current employer and when I found out that she had done this and that I had to apply again, I still believed HIM.
And I am still very positive that this is HIS promise to me and that this is what HE said regarding this job.

What happened last week is that my application for prison clearance was denied.

I still believe HIM.

And surprisingly, my new employer seems to not be willing to drop me, but they are on the contrary investigating what they can do about this decision and they seem to be willing to stick with me through the process where I will appeal against this decision.

I still believe HIM.

And at the same time, I also believe that HE is jealous and that’s why HE may not grant me to work in this job.

So what is it that a jealous man (or woman) needs most?
Love.
Affection.
Assurance.
Adoration.
Submission.
Renewal of the vows.

This is an open plead for mercy:

I am innocent, MY FATHER, MY LORD, MY LOVE, MY HUSBAND, MY FRIEND, MY BROTHER and MY SAVIOUR.

I have loved YOU and no one else.
I have served YOU.
I did not make this job my god in my heart, on the contrary, I want to do this job for YOU.
I can do a different job if that is YOUR will for my life, but at the same time, I believe that it was YOU who lead me there, because before I got saved, I did not have this job in mind.
I have to make a living somehow and I know that you know that I need a job.
I am 50 years old now and it is not getting easier to start a new career.
I know that YOU are GOD, that YOU made heaven and the earth and everything in it and that there is nothing too hard for YOU and that if YOU will, I can get any job, because everything on the earth and in the heavens is YOURS.

I would still like to do this job, because I think I can do it well and also, I can move a lot for YOUR purposes in this role.
I believe that if YOU want me to win souls for YOU, people will need to see YOU in MY life, will need to see YOUR favor upon ME and will need to see some success, some sense in my career and life path, otherwise, they will consider me a looser and will not want to listen to me, will not want to hear what I suggest and will not want to follow YOU because of ME.
Me, I am ready to serve YOU and I am asking YOU to do what YOU said and open this door for me and do so speedily. In JESUS’ name I have prayed! AMEN.

 

Hey! Jealous Lover
You’re acting so strange
Hey! Jealous Lover
What is making you change?
Hey! Jealous Lover
How wrong can you be?

I’m yours ever faithful
Just be faithful to me

I am just as steady as that clock on the shelf
Maybe you’re accusing me of – what you’re doing yourself

Hey! Jealous Lover
I’m telling you true

I know that you’re jealous
But there’s no one but you

Could have cheated lots of times,
but just couldn’t do

I was much to busy
baby being faithful to you

Hey! Jealous Lover
I’m telling you true

I know that you’re jealous
But there’s no one but you

There’s no one for me, jealous lover, but you…

How about you, my friend?
Did you ever not get something from OUR FATHER and do you think it was because HE was jealous and accused you of making it your idol?
What was it and how did you realize that this is what was happening?
Did you change?
Or repent?
And what did HE do?

I hope and pray that this will inspire, bless and heal you and that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.

 

5 thoughts on “Hey! Jealous Lover

  1. We’re all in this together, with Him as our example; our elder brother Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, sometimes I see HIM as my brother as well… HE is everything really, isn’t HE, brother, father, friend, mentor, teacher, role model, hero, savior, healer, husband…GOD… there is no one like HIM, Praise THE LORD!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey dear heart, how are you doing? I hope you are well and satisfied in Jesus! Thank you for your beautiful honesty. Father rejoices in that. I’m sure that, as Jesus had to do the back-breaking work of a carpenter into his 30’s, he also wondered when God would use him according to his true capacity. But, the beautiful thing is this: He served his Father just as completely and totally as a carpenter as he did during his three short years of ministry! That has always helped me keep my own life in perspective.
    God’s unending blessings upon you, faithful one,
    Ron

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the reminder, my dear brother. Good to see that you are back safely and that the hike has rekindled your fire for OUR LORD, that’s a very good reminder and encouragement, thank you for sharing and GOD bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

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