When the answer is “no”

Dear friends,

when we say that GOD answers prayers, we mostly give evidence of what HE has done for us as a proof for this claim.

Just as we give examples of healings, miracles, deliverance and blessings in our lives or in the lives of others which we have witnessed as a proof for HIS existence.

But this is only one side of the story.

Suppose your earthly father said “no” to something you asked of HIM. And suppose he had never done anything good for you… would he still be your biological father?

Some of us don’t even know who their biological father is!

Does that mean that he doesn’t exist?

Of course not.

And sometimes, when our biological father said “no” to us, it wasn’t for our good and it didn’t necessarily mean that he gave us something better or something else instead of what we were asking of him.

He is only human and sometimes, he doesn’t or didn’t have our best interest in mind – perhaps his own interests were colliding with ours or he had something better to do or he just didn’t have the time, the care or the love to cater for our need or to even consider our request.

But he still was or is (if he is still alive) our biological father and none of his reactions to our demands or petitions will ever change that.

When it comes to GOD, we are quick to question or even doubt HIS existence when HE doesn’t hear our prayers, in other words, when HE doesn’t do for us what we had asked HIM to do.

But this only means what it means, dear friends.

It only means that HE decided not to give us what we ask for.

Perhaps HE will give us something else.

Perhaps HE simply decided that what we were asking is not for us.

There is no place or need or use in questioning or doubting HIM or HIS existence though. Even if we didn’t know HIM or even if we didn’t believe in HIM, HE would still be GOD, you know?
Plus – this is something the New Agers do (fooled by the enemy!) – it does NOT mean that WE are our own gods or that we can do whatever we want or that we have the power to create.

HE is GOD.

And there is no way we can dictate HIM anything.

There is no way we can change HIS decisions.

We can do what we can to make our point and to do what we can to gain HIS favour.

But the decision is always entirely up to HIM.

And HE decides when or how HE will respond to our prayers.

I think what we all need to realize is that the answer to our prayers can actually be “no” and that “no” actually IS an answer to our prayer.

After all, it is not that complicated.

When we ask something of someone, they can either approve of our petition or not honor our request and say “no”.

The more distant our relationship with them is, the easier it is to take and accept a negative response.

Take a job for instance.
Suppose you are looking for a new career challenge…
If you are still employed and not necessarily needing a new job, it will be the easiest to take a rejection from a potential new employer.
And then, when you sent out a few applications, there are some jobs you want more than others (at least from what you imagine them to be like according to your knowledge) and when you get an invite for “THE” one job you fancy the most, you will be more excited and more keen than if they invited you for your “plan B” application…
Or in the dating game… what if your “main object of fancy” asked you out or said “no” if you asked them – that would be an entirely different kettle of fish to if someone you didn’t truly find attractive would show you their interest, now, wouldn’t it…
I think you’ll get what I mean…

So the more important the request, the harder it is to accept a “no”.

But still, “no” IS an answer.

And a father who says “no” is still a father.

And a person who answers “no” is still answering and does exist.

I mean, we all don’t appreciate a negative response.
Regardless of how important our petition is to us, “no’s” are never, ever pleasant or easy to take…

At the same time, we need to learn how to take them, because they are part of our lives.

And when a parent is raising their child, even if they always and exclusively have the child’s very best interest in mind at all times, they will have to say “no” to some of the child’s wishes at some point, it can’t be any other way!

Every child has to learn how to handle a rejection and a disappointment.

It is part of growing up.

It is not a pleasant part of growing up.

In fact, it sucks! Pardon my language, but as you may be able to tell, I am right now in a situation when something I really, really wanted and had been praying for has NOT been granted to me – and it HURTS, in fact, it hurts so much that I don’t even know how to stop crying… but at the same time I know that I will… and that MY FATHER will take me through…

Because HE always has.
And HE always will.
And HE loves me.
And other than a human father, HE always has my best interest in mind.
Even if I never, ever understand why HE said “no” and even if I can never, ever see that it was good for me and even if I never, ever appreciate that HE gave me something else or better or took me somewhere I would have never gotten to without this disappointment, HE is still MY FATHER and I know that HE heard my prayers and I know that HE sees my pain and I know that HE is with me all the way.

HE is GOD and HE will do as HE pleases.

There is nothing I can do about it when HE says “no”.

Sometimes, when we are hurt, it is hard to see that this is only one “no” and there have been many “yesses” in our lives – in fact, at this very moment, I have a very hard time to be grateful for anything and I am right now unable to praise HIM honestly from the bottom of my heart – I know that HE is GOD and that HE can do all things and that HE is omnipotent and omniscient and that HE created all things, but I am tiffing like a child and I am sad, very sad, not appreciative, not grown-up and understanding HIS decision, no, that’s not how I would describe my current state of being at all… in fact, if I was to put a picture upon my current state, it would be one where I see myself many, many years ago when I was in the supermarket with my mom and she would refuse to buy me this new dress for my barbie and I would literally throw a tantrum on the floor kicking and screaming and embarrassing her until she would give in…
Of course, this won’t work with GOD… and of course, what I asked HIM for was more important than a barbie dress and I am not a little girl anymore, but this is what it feels like…  not grown-up at all and just as desperate, hopeless and powerless and frustrated.

Still, there is nothing I can do.

I guess I will have to put on my big girls’ pants and get out there and walk through this somehow –  GOD willing and with HIS help.
In fact, when I think of how I will go through this even though I absolutely, definitely and without any shadow of a doubt do NOT want to go through this, behind all the hurt and self pity, there is a tiny little bit of curiosity arising of HOW I will get through what I consider impossible and way too much for me to cope with… and I guess I am not alone and we all have to take this hurdle at some points in our lives…


All I can do is pray that HE will give me strength to go through this.

HE will never be manipulated by anything I do.

There is no arguing or reasoning or even discussions with HIM, for HE is GOD and nobody changes HIS mind.

Please pray for me, my friend, as I am going through the pains of growing up and handling a “no” that feels as bad as if there had never been a “yes” from GOD (even though I know there have been many, many, but I am not “old” enough to truly appreciate them at the moment) …

Has GOD ever said “no” to you, my friend?
Did you manage to grow from it?
Or did you come out well in the end (which part of me knows I will)?
Please share your story with us…

I hope and pray that this will inspire, bless and heal you and that THE LORD will bless you richly in all areas of your life and that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.


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