Why “why?” is not the question

Dear friends,

when you are a therapist working with people, at least in all the methods and means I learned, it is taught that asking “why” is not productive and not leading to an outcome in most cases.
I will give you an example: when someone is troubled by a compulsive behaviour they want to get rid of, neither the question why they want to quit is going where you want things to go, nor the question why they have developed it.
Dwelling on why they want to get rid of it will shed light on the negative aspects of the compulsion and when investigating why they developed it, it will bring out negative experiences and when they ask themselves why they can’t behave differently, they might even go into shame or sadness when they compare themselves to other people who do not have this issue.
When you want to support someone change their patterns, a more resourceful approach is always helpful, because it reminds them of what they have already overcome in their lives and it helps them draw from their own knowledge, wisdom and experiences, ideally build on past successes by modelling their own successful behaviour.
The question “why” is not going to lead them there.
Can you see that it will be more productive and empowering to ask them different questions, such as “what if you had already overcome xyz, what would be different?” or “what can you learn from someone who has mastered xyz?” or “how would you live your life differently if you were not able to have xyz?” or “many years from now, after you will have left xyz long behind, what will be the benefits of having had this issue, what will it have taught you?”

Whereas I am not practicing therapy any more, I think it is similar with us when we have to go through trials and tribulations.

The question “why, GOD?” or “why me, GOD?” will not lead us anywhere… except that it will make us sad, perhaps even resentful or in the worst case, it will shake or even tear our faith apart.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

And to ask “why?” seems to be our very first, natural response to a stumbling block which has just landed right in front of our noses when we were strolling down our path…
And we don’t even want to know why!
It is our way of stating that we are not happy about it!
When you ask someone “Why did you do that?” you are not looking for the reason, you want to let them know that what they have done upset you, don’t you?

Plus, what we are literally doing when we are asking this question is focusing on the block, examining it, viewing it from all different possible angles, giving it our full attention and thus making it the center of our lives.
That’s exactly what the enemy wants us to do.
Take our focus away from the one that can help us overcome every stumbling block, even mountains and focus on our misfortune instead, perhaps having a pity party or blaming and accusing –  ourselves, others or OUR FATHER.

Think about a difficulty you have overcome in your past instead.
Didn’t it seem impossible to master this problem when it first turned up?
Weren’t you scared or even frustrated at first?
Isn’t that always the case when hindrances appear to be in the middle of our way?

Nobody likes them.

And yet, when you stay with this experience in your past, there is some gain you got out of mastering the “mountain”.

I don’t know what it was in your example, but I know there was something you have learned or something you found out and I am quite sure that it also involved that your faith in GOD OUR FATHER has increased somehow through this – am I right?

You see, this is what HE puts them there for.

To increase our faith.
To let us work on our patience and endurance.
To help us develop skills we would not have developed deliberately, without the pressure of the necessity to find a way out of “this”.
To show us what is possible with HIM and in HIM.
To prove that HE is GOD and that HE is able and that nothing is too hard for HIM.
Maybe to teach us to hold our peace and let HIM fight our battles.
To take us to places, let us meet people, let us find things we would have never looked for without “this”.

I know it is not easy to remember this when we are in the middle of “it” – and I am not speaking TO you, I am WITH you, right in this very moment in my life, I have so many mountains around me, it is as if I was literally “walking in the valley of the shadow of death” and that for a very long time, many years now.

And yet do I know that HE will make a way for me.

And now may be a good time to ask “why?” – Why do I know?
Because HE always has.
Because HE is GOD.
Because HE promised to.
Because HE loves me.
Because I believe.

Dear friend, just as HE will get me out of my valley, so will HE do the same for you!

Just look at all the various examples of the bible.

It seems that HE wants a situation to be completely hopeless, wants it to seem utterly impossible to solve before HE will show up and move by HIS SPIRIT.
Look at Daniel in the lions’ den.
Look at Joseph the dreamer.
Look at Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
Look at David when he fought Goliath.
Look at the Israelites when they were standing at the coast of the Red Sea.
There are countless examples in the bible!

And this GOD who has done all these things is OUR FATHER.
HE is still the same GOD HE was and HE will never, ever change.
And HE is alive today.
HE can do the same things HE did for these people again.
And HE will.
HE wants you to trust in HIM – because trusting in HIM, obedience and faith are the conditions for HIM to come and save us.

HE is waiting for us to ask HIM.
And to trust HIM.
And HE will move our mountains  – yours and mine!
In JESUS’ name!

Matthew 21:22
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

I believe it!

Do you, my friend?

I hope and pray that this will inspire and bless you and that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. In JESUS’ name. AMEN.

Foto credit: http://www.christianmessenger.in

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