There’s purpose in the pain…?!

Dear friends

Have you heard the saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’?

Yes, it’s a worldly saying and not a gem of wisdom from the bible – at least have I not come across a verse that says this, in proverbs or in the psalms…?
So I thought I’d research the origin of it and it was actually the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche who had phrased it… it was actually part of his concept of resilience, his (racist) ideas of a so called “uebermensch”, a kind of superhuman that’s faster, stronger, more intelligent than others… the saying is from the “Maxims and Arrows” section of Nietzsche’s book, Twilight of the the Idols (1888) and it is said it was the last book he wrote before he turned completely insane.
We all know how his ideas of a superhuman were reduced to absurdity by the Nazis and I believe concepts like this were the breeding ground for their insanity and demonic mass destruction.
And I am the last one to promote any of this ideologic material.

However, it came to mind when I was thinking about my years of extreme trials and hardships.

It’s been almost exactly 7 years ago when I encountered GOD and HE saved me out of the darkness I was living in at the time.
And the 7 years I have been walking with THE LORD have been years of spiritual clarity and I have never been more sane and well spiritually, but they have also been years of extreme challenges.
I came across a voice note that I recorded on my phone about 2.5 years ago and the pain and desperation in this memo touched me deeply – and in this moment, I could actually feel the presence of GOD and I was able to feel HIS love and how my suffering broke HIS heart….and at the same time, how HE was always there making sure I had all I needed (even if it was just the bare minimum) and I had enough strength to carry on and to not give up.

Since then, I have been thinking – about my journey with HIM and about what HE had brought me out of and about what I had gone through – and it hit me that I had not only gone through a lot, but also moved beyond SO many things and desires and ideas and concepts – about myself, about the world we live in, the world as in “the world” the bible talks about and also the world the way it is for us Christians, and about my own personal life.

And I did come to this conclusion – in a similar way…

That what GOD had let me go through, made me so much stronger.

And SO much less needy.

In practically ALL areas of my life.

I don’t need approval.
I don’t need appreciation.
I don’t need love – the need for love is probably the most dangerous thing for a woman I would say.
At least do I not need these things from other people.
I only need them from MY FATHER.
If and when HE loves me, I don’t NEED the love of people, of friends, of colleagues, of a man….

Now that doesn’t mean that I am arrogant or not hoping and wishing for human companionship, friendship and love.

I believe it means the contrary.

I believe it makes me more capable of both giving and receiving love.

When I don’t need it.

When I don’t need the other person to fill a hole in me or in my life – be that a friend or a husband.

I would like one, but I don’t need one.

And if he comes, I will appreciate him and his love as the icing on my cake – but if he should ever leave me, I will survive and will still be hole and will still be loved – by THE ONE who will never, ever leave me nor forsake me.

Same with friends.
If I cannot find friends who are serious about their walk with GOD, who are on the same spiritual level of maturity and who are devoted to GOD and to serving HIM, I still have a best friend who will always listen to me and always talk to me and always, always be there whenever I need HIM and whatever I need HIM for – HIS name is JESUS.

Then the toughest ones: being betrayed and heart-broken.
It happened to me once – after I got saved.
I was lied to, betrayed, my heart was broken like never before.
And yes, I shouldn’t have fallen… but I have…. if it wasn’t good for anything else, it was definitely good to remove me from my high horse and ever since then, I have no longer been “holier than thou”, not as self-righteous as I was.

But it was also good for me to see and truly understand that a relationship without GOD in it will not work for me.

Just as a friendship won’t – or a job won’t – when GOD’s not in it, it is not for me.

And I wish my motives were 100% pure and came out of only wanting to serve HIM.

That’s one part of it, yes.

But that’s not the only aspect of it.

The other part is knowing that I will get hurt when I leave the path GOD wants me on.

Moving within the will of GOD doesn’t mean there will never be any pain – absolutely not.
I would even say there was a lot more pain and heartache and lack and sacrifice and loss in my life SINCE I got saved.

BUT there is purpose in the pain when it comes from walking with GOD, perhaps even from obeying HIM.

And as we say so often in church and encourage ourselves:
GOD will work everything out for our GOOD.

I believe that.

Do you?

I am not one of those who believe some aspects of the bible and some I believe were “mistranslated” or altered – perhaps we can discuss if some of the verses are to be interpreted literally or metaphorically and if some of the traditional statements need amending into our modern times (or at least a bit), but that GOD has our best interest in mind and that everything we are going through is or CAN only be because GOD allowed it – this is one of the basic, underlying and foundational principles of the bible and of my own faith – if I wasn’t able to firmly believe that, I would almost say “what’s the point” in believing in GOD and serving HIM…?

So I came to see that I don’t really need many things and circumstances I had been praying for.

And some of the ones I had been praying for – I can even see that a LOVING FATHER has decided for me that it is better for me not to have them – just like in biological families when the father decides that their child cannot do this or cannot have that, because the father is able to see and anticipate the consequences, whereas the child can only see their desired outcome in that moment.

And yes, some of my deepest struggles have made me stronger.

It’s true.

And it’s also true that I would have never deliberately gone into some of these battles, but in retrospect, I am glad I have fought them and I have overcome what has tried to kill me.

Satanic/psychic attacks for instance – I will have to write more about this, this is actually the reason why I created this blog, so that people who are afflicted by witches will learn how to fight and to overcome their aggressors.

Satan has done a good job in distracting me from this goal by giving me so much to contend with – and it is no joke when I say what I had to contend with did almost kill me – but it hasn’t.

I am still here.

Stronger.

Wiser.

More content and at peace than ever before – and I am well aware that this statement in itself will induce another spiritual battle – but I can say it.

In all the struggle and pain, there is PEACE, there is GOD’s love, there is growth and in the end, if I was meant to die by GOD, I would no longer be here, but since I still am, HE means for me to keep fighting and as long as GOD wants me to be here and fight and expose the schemes of the devil and tell others that GOD IS REAL, as long as GOD has a message for me to publish, there is nothing anyone can do about it.

And all they could ever do about it will only make me stronger and I will overcome it – not because I am so great, absolutely not!!! – but because GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME THAN HE THAT’S IN THE WORLD!

How about you my friend?
Did GOD strengthen you through the battles and challenges HE made you go through?
Have you overcome “stuff” by HIS SPIRIT?
Looking forward to hearing your stories…

I hope and pray that this will encourage, heal, inspire and bless you.
And that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life. That HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you and bring you peace. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.