When others abuse us, no matter which form this abuse has, it hurts!
There are so many kinds of abuse and today, I don’t want to go into what they are, I was more driven by the idea to explore more where they come from.
I have noticed through my work in prison, where I get to speak to offenders every day, that their offences are often, if not always, “born” out of a life when they were victims of abuse.
For instance, I think I have mentioned it before, I have yet to speak to a sex offender who has NOT been sexually abused themselves – in most cases I have seen, they’ve been abused as a child by someone within the family – either their father or stepfather or a close friend of the family or a close relative like an uncle (sorry, most perpetrators in this area are men, hence the gender specific language).
Can you even imagine what effect this will have on a child?
Me, I don’t think I can.
I know what abuse feels like – even emotional and psychological abuse, even what that feels like from early childhood on – and I have payed dearly for the consequences of it in my own life – however, sexual abuse as a child, that’s being abused on another level!
It must mean that this child has had to grow up with no sense of safety whatsoever.
Never, ever have they been safe.
Never, ever have they been able to go to bed and to fall asleep peacefully, as in their room and at nighttime is the most common time and place where and when the tormentor would have come to get them…. and then, even if they would have mustered up the strength to tell someone what had been done to them, in 9 times out of 10, nobody would have believed them, because the abuse took place in a toxic family system where truth, justice and righteousness has no place and where the perpetrator is the breadwinner and nobody dares to challenge anything they would do… sometimes and in some cases, the child would even have to suffer from repercussions for speaking up and their situation would have become much worse afterwards……….complete and absolute hopelessness!!!
How is this child supposed to grow into a healthy adult?
Where are they supposed to get their “correct” values from?
How are they supposed to develop healthy behavioral patterns?
When they have their own relationships, how on earth are those supposed to go well when all they have ever seen and experienced is abuse and toxic behavior?
It’s almost impossible that they will NOT repeat what they’ve been exposed to all their life!
I am not excusing them, friends.
I am just helping us to understand the reasons for their behavior.
This has helped me greatly in my own case, too.
Not only in my work with “my guys”, the gangsters if you will.
Also with understanding “my” evil perpetrator.
I’ve been pondering a lot about what it might have been that made him so evil…. what makes someone want to become a warlock, a guru, a satanist, a witch?
I believe it must have been a life where there was a deep sense of helplessness and powerlessness for a long time and then this child has made a decision: I will never be powerless again for the rest of my life, I will never, ever feel so hopeless, small and desperate again.
I will grow up and become very powerful, so powerful that I can dominate other people, that I can make things happen to them against their will, I will learn magic, so that I can manipulate any situation towards any outcome I desire, that there will be no limits to what I can do, I can make anything happen, I can even transcend time and space, I can astral travel, I can penetrate other people’s homes, bodies, dreams, there is absolutely no limit to what I can do – I can – and here comes the most important one – PROVE to MYSELF and to the ENTIRE WORLD that I am very powerful and I can get this proof for myself every day, as much and as often as I want!
And when my victims suffer, it is even more proof of how powerful I am, because I did this.
Me, myself and I.
I have NO compassion with my victims, because when I was a victim, nobody had compassion with me.
I will even do it in a way that nobody will believe them, because when I was a victim, nobody believed me either.
Victims don’t deserve mercy, because my perpetrator didn’t have mercy on me.
Nobody helped me.
Life is tough.
But now, I am on the giving side of the cycle, not on the receiving end.
I AM IN CONTROL AND I ALWAYS WILL BE.
Friends, they are desperate for control.
Because they had none for sooooooooooooo long.
To some degree, the hunger for authority always comes from the lack thereof.
At least that’s what I believe.
If you’ve ever had a manager at your job – and I believe most of us have had one at some point in our lives or still do and will do for a while longer – have you noticed that when it comes to authority, there are some managers who have it and the ones who insist the most that they need to be obeyed by their subordinates are the ones who have the least authority and need it the most, they need proof of it?
If you dig a little, you will always find some issues there!
Or take JESUS.
HE never, ever told anyone off who abused HIM.
Never, ever had to prove HIS power and authority to anyone, did not even choose to exercise HIS power, but deliberately gave it up so that HIS mission could be fulfilled.
Did you ever think about it?
Don’t you think JESUS could have stopped the entire crucifixion at any stage or time?
Only with HIS willpower?
I mean, HE cast out so many demons of so many people, could HE not have stopped all the demonic activities and thoughts in and by everyone involved?
Could HE not even have saved Pontius Pilate or anyone involved in ruling HIS death sentence?
Me, I have absolutely no doubt about this.
The only reason why this happened is because HE allowed it, even wanted it to happen.
What the enemy meant for evil turned out to be the greatest blessing for mankind and the reason why you and I are going to be able to go to live in paradise one day…. with GOD.
Except if we choose not to.
Like so many “criminals” do – and I am not just talking about the criminals in prison – I am also talking about spiritual criminals, like the one I have been dealing with for more than 10 years now – and he is definitely walking around as a free man, at least is he not in a public jail (as far as I know), but the prison is in his head…..his soul is suffering more than the soul of an actual prisoner, because the prisoner who is in jail will have served his time at some point and has a chance to be released and to go out into freedom one day, but the spiritual prisoner, the one who sold his soul to the devil, they know that there will be no end to their captivity and that they will never escape, not even beyond death……
That’s another reason I found why these people are so ruthless and heartless.
Part of them knows they will be going to hell and this life here is all they will have, because eternity will be horrible for them.
They will never admit it, but somehow they know it’s the truth.
They even know that it is true that JESUS is the truth, the way and the life.
But they are too scared to give their lives to HIM.
Or they believe it is too late.
I don’t think any of them truly believe that the devil has more power than GOD.
They CANNOT believe it – take my perpetrator for instance – he will not be able to fool himself into believing that “his boss” has more power than “mine”.
Because if that was so, I would have never been able to stop his attacks, would have never been able to overcome them and there would be absolutely no way I would even still be alive.
He KNOWS that he has tried to kill me SOOOOOO many times for soooooooo long – for more than 10 years, friends!
And I am still here, alive and well, living to tell the tale and to mock the devil – all by the grace of GOD, by HIS SPIRIT and through HIS POWER. I have no supernatural power of my own, have not learned a magic or witch – or some other craft, I have learned to PRAY IN THE NAME OF JESUS and to do spiritual warfare according to CHRISTIAN principles – and it works!
If that’s not proof that GOD has the ultimate power, than I don’t know what is.
SO many New Age gurus and top teachers have been saved, friends.
They are the more clever ones.
My offender is not one of them.
He still holds on to his delusions and to the fake world of the occult.
I have prayed for his salvation for years.
Not because I care about him, believe me, I truly don’t – I mean, can you really blame me?, the man has been trying to kill me for a long time…. but what matters to me is that GOD cares about him! HE created him in HIS image and HE cares about every single soul.
Even “my gangsters” in prison, GOD cares about them – no matter what they have done!
They are all sons of abuse, violence, neglect, toxicity, pain, rejection, despair and helplessness.
ALL of them.
And so are the ones who abuse us!
No matter what they have done to us, it was because of what has been done to them!
Think about this, friends.
If you ever come across anyone who abuses you, they are ALL victims!
Victims who have not been forgiven, have not experienced the benefits of GOD’s love – because if they had, they would not be ABLE to abuse others, they would be COMPELLED to love them with the same love they have received and are continually receiving…..
Abuse and their sons stem from the devil.
And there is only one way to make this kind of breed exempt – by spreading GOD’s love and birthing compassion, understanding, forgiveness, empathy, tolerance, acceptance and PEACE – not the peace of the hippies, but the PEACE of CHRIST, the only true peace.
To understand this helps me to see abuse as it is: an expression of disfunction, of pain, of helplessness – in the PERPETRATOR.
They need HELP.
They need JESUS.
If you are reading this and have not given your life to HIM and have perhaps even identified some areas where you have been violent to others (because of what others have done to you), please know that there is a solution and a help and a way.
HIS name is JESUS CHRIST.
And you can meet HIM right here and right now.
JESUS CHRIST loves you and cares for your soul. Hopefully, you already know HIM and have a relationship with HIM. If not, if you are unsure or perhaps don’t even know what it is all about, I hope that this page can clear things up for you, can help you find THE TRUTH. Because only JESUS CHRIST is the true saviour, who can save your soul. JESUS is the way, the truth and the life. HE died on the cross for your sins, yes, that’s right, for yours and mine… it is all such a fascinating and yet true story. JESUS CHRIST came to earth as the SON OF GOD to save us all from the devil. And HIS works are still relevant today, HE is as alive today as he was more than 2000 years ago. And if you are not saved, HE wants to save you today, right here and right now: please don’t stay under the power of the king of darkness, please join us and give your life to THE LORD.
Here is an example of what you can pray in your heart right now, if you want to make JESUS LORD over your life:
“Dear Heavenly Father, I acknowledge and confess that I have not lived my life for YOU to this day, but have been living for myself and in sin and that is wrong. Please forgive me of all of my sins just as I forgive others. I need YOU in my life; I want YOU in my life.
I recognize the completed work of YOUR only begotten Son JESUS CHRIST in giving HIS life for me on the cross, I believe in my heart JESUS is LORD and that HE was raised from the dead and ask for YOUR forgiveness, which YOU have made freely available to me through this sacrifice.
Come into my life now, LORD!
Take up residence in my heart and be my KING, my LORD, and my SAVIOUR!
From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow YOU all the days of my life. Those days are in YOUR hands.
I ask this Jesus name.
If you have just prayed this prayer, you are now part of GOD’s kingdom and family and I heartily welcome you, my dear brother or sister!
The next thing to do is get a bible and find a church where you can receive further instructions, so that your new life in THE LORD may prosper and that you will become who HE made you to be.
GOD bless you and if you have any questions or need any assistance, please get in touch.
I hope and pray that this will inspire, encourage, heal and bless you.
And that THE LORD will bless you abundantly in all areas of your life, that HE will keep you and shine HIS face upon you, and bring you PEACE. In JESUS’ name I pray. AMEN.