my testimony

There was a time in my life when I was surrounded by so much darkness, I could not see any future, did not have any hope and I was miserable, suicidal, desperate and lacking in every area of my life.

Not that I am stupid or uneducated.
Neither had I been on drugs or an alcoholic.
I would also not consider myself to have been (or being) mentally ill, no, that wasn’t my problem or the cause of my problems, of all of them – the cause of all my problems was something else:

I was demonized.

Severely demonized.

And the main problem about it was that I didn’t know what was truly wrong with me.

I had been on a spiritual quest for a while, had been a lawyer and a trained therapist (NLP and hypnosis and various other methods) and I had a genuine desire to help others get well and I was in doubt and confused:

neither did I see anyone get TRULY healed, not by me, not by any of my coach or therapist friends or even mentors and teachers, and neither was I myself REALLY getting any better – not that I was ill, I was just dealing with the same issues everybody is dealing with – rejection, old childhood wounds, a search for a deeper meaning of my life, a search for true love, a yearning for a sense of fulfillment…
“Normal” and very common spiritual issues – I believe everybody is facing them over the course of their life.
And everybody is looking for answers at some point in their life.

Only that many of us, including me at the time, look in all the wrong places and the worst thing is, we forget or fail to look in the only RIGHT place and that place is GOD OUR FATHER and HIS WORD, THE BIBLE.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

I knew that what I was doing wasn’t right somehow, but I thought it was my fault. Thought I hadn’t studied enough, hadn’t gained enough experience, hadn’t learned enough skills to really, really help people (and myself) to solve the deeper, underlying problems they were facing, the real big life issues.

And I kept searching.
And I had no idea how dangerous this searching was and how it was harming me.
The more I searched, the worse I got.
And my misery truly began and was taking me to an entirely new level of darkness when I came across the website of an “enlightenment teacher”.
I bought his program, it was a set of audio meditations and a book, which was supposed to teach us everything we ever needed to know about life and was supposed to help us solve all our problems, no matter what they are – mainly by “manifesting” (this is an absolute red flag term and it is ALWAYS involving satanic practices!! – but I didn’t know that).
I got in touch with him on facebook and even tried to meet him – I had such a strong feeling that only he had some answers that I needed at that time.
Today I know what this “strong feeling” truly was and today, it sounds extremely ridiculous to me and I would probably laugh about these kinds of advertisements and all the glamorous and super duper over the top testimonies they have on their pages – only that when you don’t know what these things are and what severe consequences you are going to have to face when you get involved with this satanic stuff any further, it isn’t funny.
Not funny at all.
But in reality, these people and their products are life threatening and I am not exaggerating when I say that.
Because no matter what you do, dear friends:
I repeat, it does NOT matter which of the following you do (or even of the things I didn’t mention here) if you go to a fortune teller, take part in a seance, play with a ouija board, consult a witch doctor, shaman, energy healer, book a hypnosis session, reiki, yoga, even one yoga lesson is enough!!, tantra, manifesting, tai-chi, meditation, buddhism, hinduism, santeria, vodoo, obea, african or carribean witchcraft, buy a talisman, a pendant, a birth stone, read your horoscope, read any occult book, listen to satanic music, burn incense, wear cursed clothes or eat cursed food, take drugs, go to a brothel, watch pornography, smoke cigarettes or anything else – it does NOT matter which of these you do, what will happen to you is always the same:

You will be entered by demons.

I didn’t know that.

I could have known that.

Everybody could know that.

Because it is in THE BIBLE.

But the devil does so much to keep us distracted and away from there, from THE TRUTH.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming the devil for what happened to me, not at all – even though he was the one who did it all to me – I am blaming myself, for my ignorance and for the very, very dangerous distance I had from GOD, from THE TRUTH and from the protection which comes together with being a child of THE MOST HIGH GOD and from being covered by THE BLOOD OF JESUS.

So what happened to me is very, very terrible, but at the same time, it was very important and helpful for me to find THE TRUTH and I came out well (everybody who gives their life to JESUS will come out well and victorious!!!) :

But before I came out, I got under demonic, black magic attack  – so bad and so long that I completely lost control over my life.
I was depleted, I was depressed, I was unable to take care of myself and I was so frustrated over the fact that I was unable to do anything about this, even though I was “so well trained and educated and so clever and so strong”.
Mainly, I was so full of myself and so deceived and naive… and I thought and expected of myself to be able to conquer these issues. The fact that I wasn’t able to do that made it even worse for me, and that’s how it always works, for many people. Plus there is a lot of shame and nobody ever wants to talk about these things.
Today I know that NOBODY who is not trained in spiritual warfare can do anything about it when they are under demonic attack.
Most people don’t and won’t even know what’s going on and they will not even find out… they don’t believe in the devil and in magic or witchcraft, but that doesn’t mean these things are not real, it only means that they are powerless against them, because they have no idea what’s going on and the enemy can keep on keeping on…
They believe they have gone crazy (I did believe that in the beginning and it’s exactly what the enemy wants you to believe) or that it is all hopeless and nobody can help them and that it would be better if they were dead – I also believed that for many years…
I was astrally attacked day and night, 24/7, for many YEARS and it is probably not important to go into more detail here…
I perfectly knew where the attacks came from, it was the man who had this business of “enlightenment”, he even admitted it in his own wicked and very evil way that he was using his supernatural, black magic powers on me – when I say admit, you must understand that these people never really tell the truth and that they get a thrill out of watching other people suffer, are literally turned on by their supernatural powers and how they can hurt and torment others with them, it is the main driving motive for what they are doing in their entire life:
Power is not even the right word, but it is what power is for them, the only power they know, the power over others, the power to dominate people, to force them to do or endure things against their will.
I wouldn’t call that power, I would call it violence, but for them, it is power and they love it – as far as you could even say they are capable of love, it is not love, but for them, it is… like sex, like drugs, like rock’n’ roll – all the cheap thrills they call love…
They are deeply insecure inside and have been severely rejected and hurt and are suffering from many mental problems, they are empty and lonely and most of all, they are themselves being severely tormented by the demons they are summoning and using every day and night – some of them will admit this, most of them won’t… anyway, the worst mistake I made is to try to communicate and solve this issue with my offender – there is no reasoning with a satanist, they will only get pleasure out of every word you are sending them, no matter how bad, offensive or threatening you become, it will only amuse them and they will get a kick out of it and you will never, ever get anywhere!
On the contrary, you will only get sucked in deeper instead of getting out – that’s not a good idea to do that, but I didn’t know that back then.
And I did send many, many emails – probably millions over the years.
And I did get very angry.
Not at first.
In the beginning, I was very fascinated by all this magic and all these superpowers.
Because let’s not be mistaken here, dear friends, the devil and his cohorts DO have powers, very astonishing supernatural powers, even a lot of them – if I would go more into detail about how far these powers go, at least the powers of the being I had to encounter, it would definitely blow your socks off – but I won’t do it here and at this point, because I don’t want anyone to be attracted to this evil filth.
It is exactly how you get infected, when you are curious and fascinated, the devil knows exactly how to lure you into his traps and then when you realize what you have done, it is too late and he has you, he has what we Christians call “a legal right” to torment you, to accuse you, to enter you and sometimes even to possess you.

So when I realized that something was completely wrong, I was unable to get away, to ban this warlock from doing what he was doing.
I looked everywhere for help.
At least I thought everywhere… mainly in the occult, a.k.a. New Age Scene itself, I kept consulting energy healers, mediums and all sort of specialists, the New Age Movement itself has pseudo-experts about astral attacks, about demons and when you go to them, that only means you will get much worse and that’s exactly what I did and what happened.
I must even confess that I considered for a while to go looking for him, going after him and killing him physically.
That’s exactly how people become criminals – I know how it works and I can tell you, it can happen to ANYONE if you are under attack of demons – I am even inclined to believe that this is how MOST crimes happen… SO many criminals say they heard “a voice” commanding them to kill this person or to steal this or do this thing and that it became too strong to resist – this is exactly how it works.

The other option I saw was killing myself.
I bounced back and forth between these two options, which I considered the only two options to end this cycle for many years…and I even tried to take my own life once during that time… but GOD had other plans for me and I miraculously survived taking 150 sleeping pills.
But this is a very good demonstration of GOD’s TRUTH, because it is in the bible and if I had known my bible by then, I would have known who is behind it all: the devil.

I didn’t know that these battles are not to be faught (and won in our case!) in the flesh, but in the spirit realm, in fact, had you told me, I would not have had a clue what you meant!

2 Corinthians 10: 3 – 7
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is Christ’s, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ’s, even so are we Christ’s.

Like I said, it’s all in THE BOOK!
John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.


In the depth of my despair, I even considered going to a black magician myself and to buy a curse or a spell and I wasn’t going to purchase a positive one, but something somehow stopped me and I didn’t want to become as evil as my offender… thank GOD!

So there I was, this had been going on for more than 3 years by the time and only the first 5 months or so did I really enjoy and after that, I did more and more and all I could to get out of it.
Needless to mention that my entire life had fallen apart in the meantime.
My marriage, my business, my friends, my home – lost…
I was traveling, meandering around, doing seasonal jobs or no jobs at all… at many times, I was broke, even homeless at one point and many times, I didn’t have money to buy food for many weeks… like I said, I was unable to take care of myself, because I was so afflicted and tormented, it consumed all my time, all my energy, all my thoughts…

And I did pray and cry out to GOD a lot.
I thought I was a Christian.
I had no idea what that was or who JESUS CHRIST was, but I even thought I had channelled HIM and other “angelic beings” when I was listening to demonic messages, only did I not know that they were demonic, I thought JESUS and Mary and GOD and the archangels were really talking to me – I did NOT know how to test the spirits if they are from GOD, I didn’t know how to discern, probably the root cause of all my problems… I even had a blog where I published my “sacred”, a.k.a. demonic messages and I had quite an amount of followers from all over the world… New Age… so dangerous!

One day, when I was again very down and praying and doing my research on the internet, hoping to find something about a solution, about how to get free from astral attacks, I came across a Christian Teacher on youtube, his name is Derek Prince.
Some of you may know him and those of you who don’t should really check him out – his teachings are awesome and very rare, they must have been even more unusual at the time they came out.
I watched one of his videos about demons and spiritual warfare and at the end of his talks, he often offers to pray for people who have the problem he was giving his talk about and I followed along in the prayer –


Right there.
Through a prayer I was watching on the internet.

And I learned who JESUS CHRIST truly IS.

That didn’t mean I immediately got better.
I knew that I was well regarding eternity, but that didn’t and doesn’t necessarily mean all is well in this life…
I believe that’s one of the main errors in the church or in Christianity today – just because we are saved and just because we are born again and know THE LORD, that doesn’t mean that the enemy is completely banned out of our lives and yes, Christians CAN have demons and I would say from what I know and what I have learned, many of them do and demons and the devil specifically and with great diligence target Christians and sometimes, when we get saved is when the attacks really only BEGIN.
As long as we are doing what the devil wants us to do, sin, he will not torment us.
But when we find CHRIST, the devil knows that we have found THE TRUTH and that we from that moment on have the power to defeat him when we are in CHRIST.
He will do all he can to make us doubt, make us suffer all he still can, so that we would backslide or that our faith would faint…

So GOD took me to a long and intense training and searching.
First of all, HE took me to THE WORD.
By the way, if you experience what I call “brain fog” or a sudden tiredness when you want to read the bible, that’s the devil. Ever wondered how you can stay up an watch all kinds of crap online or on TV until 2am, but when you start reading the bible, after 20min you are sound asleep – that’s not natural, that’s demons!
Then, GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT taught me so many things over the years…
You can read what I found in a nutshell or for starters if you want in my post what to do if demons haunt you.

Anyway, the outline of my testimony is:
only JESUS CHRIST is stronger than the devil and all his witches (no matter what they call themselves, healer, teacher, guru etc) and only HE can get you free from them.
If you have a problem with demons, you need to seek help ONLY from the kingdom of GOD, this is vital and the only thing that will save not only your soul, but also your life, is to call on THE LORD JESUS and give your life to HIM, make HIM LORD over your life – and I guarantee that you will never regret it!

GOD doesn’t promise us an easy life, on the contrary, HE said that we will be prosecuted and hated for HIS sake. But it will all be worth it, because once you have found THE TRUTH, you will never want to go back into all the lies and snares of the enemy!

As much as I can tell you about my life today (and I will keep my identity partly protected, because I sent some really bad threats to this man and the way the kingdom of darkness operates, that puts me in danger of blackmail or even efforts to sabotage my life – at least as long as this man is not saved)  – is that today, I am well and safe.

And I am praying for him every day – I think that says it all, says all about my status, about the PEACE I have now, about all the countless healings THE LORD has performed in me, about all the miracles HE has done for me. 
I am praying and I am able to pray for the man who has been trying to kill me for more than 7 years together with many other satanists (they never work alone), doing ALL of the darkest, ugliest, most disgusting things you could possibly imagine – yes, rituals, yes, blood sacrifices – all of it, the FULL MONTY!
And I am praying for his salvation every day.
Of course, I have forgiven him, in fact, I repeat forgiving him every day, every night, every hour when the attacks come and they still come – he hasn’t changed – only I have, by GOD’s grace and mercy and I give HIM all the glory!
It is GOD who is in control – always, so also in this case, my case is no exception.
Not I will end this, because I have no supernatural powers, in fact, I am extremely glad that GOD took all the things away this practitioner of black magic put into my system – some of these things (you may call them “gifts of the evil spirit”) would be very attractive to many, many people, but me, I am just SO glad I got rid of them!
So I am praying for him and only GOD knows what will happen to him and it is not my job to decide – me, I have no right to judge anyone, for I have sinned as well.
We all have.
And we all constantly sin.
We lie, we steal things, we lust after people, we envy what others have or we get angry – all the time! … and it is important to repent regularly of our sins and ask OUR FATHER’s forgiveness for them, just as we have to forgive all the time – we have to forgive EVERYBODY.
That’s the deal.
If we don’t, OUR FATHER doesn’t forgive us.
So we don’t really do it for them, we do it for us.
Anyhow, today, I have a very good job that glorifies GOD, I work for a good cause and I have the privilege to help people every day and of course, I pray for every one of them.
And I have also found a church where THE TRUTH and the FULL GOSPEL is being taught and where I am very involved and I go out to the streets often to preach the gospel, to tell people about JESUS and to do my best to lead more souls home.
This is the essence and only a short overview of what THE LORD has done for me.

The most important part of my message is this:

HE can do the same things for you and much more!
What you really need to know is that NO MATTER what you have done, regardless of all the junk, sin, crap or even criminal activities, serious sin, satanic rituals, ANYTHING you have ever been involved in, JESUS CHRIST can save you. GOD will forgive your sins!
And you can have a new life, be born again, become a new creature! And no matter what you have done or what the enemy has done to you, THE LORD will use it and turn it around for YOUR GOOD!
YOUR testimony can help and encourage others!

There are many more things you’ll need to do in order to stay free, and I will do my best to give information about it here on this website, but it is also important that you find yourself a true Christian Church and become a member there and learn and grow with the help of a skillful pastor and other fellow believers.

And you need to get rid of all your sin and all related possessions, no matter how costly they are, everything and everyone connecting you to the occult must go.
You need to study.
Not only THE WORD, but also the heresies and false religions.
You need to wake up.
And then, you need to come back here and leave your testimony 🙂
No, seriously, after you will have saved your own life and soul, GOD will put the desire in your heart to help others find THE TRUTH as well – and the more of us spread GOD’s Truth, the better!

It will be natural for you to become a messenger, a witness, an evangelist, a promoter of the gospel, of the GOOD NEWS, because you will be so happy and relieved about what GOD has done for you that you will be wanting to help others get what you have received, find what you have found….

Dear friend, thank you very much for reading my testimony, I hope that you will be inspired and blessed and encouraged by it, because what THE LORD has done for me, to bring me out of the darkest darkness, HE can do the same for you.

GOD bless you!
In JESUS’ name!

15 thoughts on “my testimony

  1. Great testimony of the saving power of God through Jesus Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading my testimony and commenting, my dear sister.
      Looking forward to reading more and finding out more about yours as well.
      GOD bless you!


  2. Yes, Gateway Church teaches the truth about the demonic realm and the attacks we come under. They have a good teaching about spiritual warfare called the “Freedom Ministry.”

    There’s also a free sermon series on You Tube by our pastor Robert Morris called “Free Indeed.”

    Many blessings to all of you.



    1. Thank you for commenting and recommending your church and your pastor to the readers of my blog.

      Normally, I would be reluctant to allow links to teachings or ministries I have not thoroughly investigated myself.
      And I am very “fussy” when it comes to doctrine and I must say that I am extremely sceptical of any church that is a mega church, simply because they are so big.
      From what I have learned, a church which doesn’t compromise the Word of God will never have too many followers, because the REAL Word of God alienates many people and people get offended – and then, many people who got offended by the truth don’t come back and rather find themselves a different church where it is more comfortable… and I found these “compromises” in every big church I took the time to investigate so far (online or locally).
      But at the same time, the main reason why I created this blog is that I want people to find the truth and I don’t want to risk for someone missing a piece of information which might help them get free – even if it’s just the start of their journey home to THE LORD.

      So what I did is I had a brief look at some of the videos of the “Free Indeed” series and I thought they are ok – not too deep, but solid and scripture based.
      I didn’t come across any heresies in them (which doesn’t mean there aren’t any) and that’s why I allowed the links here, but I really need to emphasize that I didn’t watch many of them – mainly because they were not speaking to me too much, I found them quite “milky” , but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing and perhaps they will help someone.
      So friends, if you follow the links suggested by sister Victoria, just beware that there are many false teachings out there, especially about deliverance and spiritual warfare and always be vigilant and prayerful about anything anyone says including me!

      Only GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT can truly lead you to the truth and only GOD can get you free!

      If you have any questions about the beliefs and methods of this church or about the content of these links, please contact sister Victoria directly as I have not watched a lot of it.

      If you would like to see or follow recommendations of teachers I personally find fantastic and thorough and profound and deep and have myself checked and found to be teaching the truth, you can find my favorite suggestions here on my blog in my article

      Thank you my sister for taking the time to comment and recommend, I hope that it will bless someone and I really appreciate your compassion.
      GOD bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My testimony has similarities to yours. It was in experiencing the powers of darkness that I realized there must truly be an opposing light, and it was Jesus Christ, the WORD of God. Some people in my house church prayed and fasted for three days and in a quiet deliverance I was freed and healed f MS.
    I had a dream in which I walked into a morgue and an autopsy was beginning on the corpse and while I watched, it suddenly came alive and started to chase me. The Lord warned me to let the dead be dead, for in retrospection and analysis, a fascination would resurrect that dead being. I feel a rage rise up in me when I encounter demonic possession/oppression weighing on someone; even just thinking or speaking of it I want to roar against it.
    Not many “get” this but there are precious ones who do and did for me. If a whole church does…they may get into an emotional “take” and develop an obsession with the subject, drawing people away from the Word. (That happened, too!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My dear sister,
      Thank you so much for sharing this and I completely understand everything you are saying – I can relate to it 100%.
      Even the warning has reached me as well, just a little differently… and I, too, can’t really be still and watch any longer when the enemy is at work… it is so good to see that you are well and happy now and that HE got you through.
      You and Ron are helping me in so many ways and it means so much to me! I believe that your prayers are what it takes to finally get me free and completely delivered after so many years and I cannot tell you how grateful I am.
      I can literally feel you praying a wall of protection around me and less and less of what is not godly is able to get through…
      Again, thank you so much!
      GOD bless you.


  4. Thank you for sharing your testimony. And thanks for visiting my blog. My next post will involve whether or not Christians have authority over demons. I think you’ll find it interesting.
    PS The book I’m writing now is entitled “Satan’s Worst Nightmare – Recognizing, Fighting, and Winning Today’s Spiritual Warfare.” Please say a prayer for me as I finish writing it, that God will use it to enlighten and inspire many people, save them if they aren’t saved already, and make them a force to be reckoned with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is important that we all write and talk about these issues and I pray that GOD will give you the knowledge and the wisdom to say what people need to learn and to speak about it in a way that they can hear it and get free.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I so very much enjoyed reading your testimony! Praise the Lord for the redemption He brought to your life, precious sister! I really appreciate you speaking openly of spiritual realities. The Body of Christ needs to understand them better. Keep up the wonderful work, you are making a powerful difference!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for reading my testimony and for your compassionate and encouraging comment. GOD bless you, my sister.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are most welcome, Eva! By the way, my mom’s name is Eva, so I’m particularly fond of it. Beautiful name. May He richly bless you too!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for visiting my blog. What a great God we have, you are another child of God saved and rescued by our Wonderful Lord and Saviour, Glory to God, glory to the Lord of hosts, Wonderful Deliverer and Prince of Peace! Glory to the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ! Hallelujah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading my testimony.
      OUR GOD is GOOD and HE is mighty to save! GOD bless you!

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m glad I came across this site. What an incredible testimony. I was addicted to tarot readings for 5 years. All it’s brought me was depression stagnation misery loneliness n anxiety. I’m calling in the lord to save me from this addiction. I plead to Jesus.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. JESUS can save you from these demonic things, only HE can. The New Age Scene and their false “healers” or teachers only ever sells lies and all that will ever happen when you turn to them is that demons will enter you – and nothing they promote will help anyone. Everyone getting involved with these things will only get what you got, they will get hurt! I am so happy for you that you realized where your problems came from and what the solution is: JESUS CHRIST! Please give your life to JESUS if you have not already done so and if you need help, please find a church where they teach THE TRUTH and where they do deliverance. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or if you would like me to point you towards places I believe are good places to turn to. JESUS saves! GOD bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

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